Wrong Number
by Miss. Miyazawa
Summary: Zen overhears several pocket dialed calls from various RFA members, each one more perverse than the last. Can he survive the night with his sanity intact? [Warnings: Contains spoilers for Seven's route, slight spoilers for Jaehee's route, and the After End- Secret 01. Rated T for language, insinuated Yaoi, and sexual themes.]
1. MC Calls Zen

This is completely ridiculous, not to mention perverted. Don't say I didn't warn you lol. Possible OOC-ness and a frantic Zen is ahead.

Disclaimer: I don't own Mystic Messenger. All characters, setting, and plot are property of Cheritz.

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"One, two, three, four!"

Zen the Knight started aggressively Vogue-ing in his small half-underground apartment. He locked eyes with his reflection, as if daring himself to look away as he completed the simplistic and terrible dance moves. He started to roll his body like a wounded snake, never once breaking his serious expression.

"Okay, I think that does it. My routine congratulatory "Zen is sexy" dance is complete!" he chirped to himself sunnily. The silver-haired actor swiped at his glistening brow. "It sure is tough keeping all of this sexiness in tip top shape." He paused to pull up his shirt and admire his firmly defined abs, all shimmering and perfect.

It was a Friday night, but Zen had no plans tonight unfortunately. His hectic schedule didn't allow for much playtime, unlike the rest of the RFA members. He felt like a working robot at times. All he had time for was sleeping, eating (barely), drinking, working out, and perfecting his craft.

"I want a girlfriend!" he moaned pitifully to himself. "I want home cooked meals! I want to go on coffee dates and hold hands, and to dress up in identically pretty dresses—oops, did I say identical pretty dresses? I meant, um, er…" Zen scratched his head as he blushed. He wasn't making much sense. _Must be sleep deprivation. Best to take a shower and go to sleep,_ he rationalized to himself.

Moments later, he emerged from his hot shower with a white towel draped over his broad shoulders. Zen used the towel to rub his hair. He passed the mirror, but not without checking himself out with a knowing smirk. There was nothing to cover his lower body but a skimpy polka-dotted towel slung loosely around his hips. _Damn, I look good,_ he told himself as she shook his ass in the mirror and giggled like a schoolgirl reading smutty yaoi fanfiction.

Zen plopped down heavily onto his bed. He would change into boxers soon, but he wanted to rest for a moment. Hours of dancing to shitty trance music really took it out of him.

"Hmm?" Zen looked down at the bed. He could hear his familiar ringtone of Whitney Houston's "I'm Every Woman" blaring through the sparsely furnished apartment.

Drops of shower water dotted the hardwood floor as Zen searched for the source of the sound. Finally, he found his phone tucked underneath a shoujo manga. To his delight, MC's name flashed across the screen. He answered the call promptly with a grin.

"Hello?" he answered cheerfully as he cradled his phone between his ear and his shoulder. Zen busied himself with unwinding his towel and tugging up his boxers. It was time to turn on the charm (not that it was ever off in the first place). He flashed a megawatt smile to no one in particular. "Oh, it's my honey. Did you miss me?" He laughed. "I should probably stop. You know I was just kidding, right? I respect the sanctity of marriage after all. Don't want Saeyoung prowling around looking for me."

He heard muffled sounds on the other end. Hmm. _Did she just butt dial me?_ Zen wondered. But he couldn't bring himself to hang up. What if it was really important?

The rustling soon stopped. It was MC on the other end.

But it was clear she wasn't alone.

"Just don't get any in my hair, all right?"

 _Don't get any... in her hair? What does she mean...?_ Zen turned a bright crimson as he froze at her words. She was so matter-of-fact about it. He started sweating uncontrollably. _Is she with Saeyoung?_

Then another voice protested, "Hey, what do you take me for? I'm a professional. I've done this with Rika many times before."

 _Nope. Definitely not Saeyoung,_ he thought nervously. He recognized that childish voice anywhere. Yoosung. But what was he doing alone with MC? And just what were they about to do? It didn't sound very innocent.

"So you were that close to your cousin, huh Yoosung," MC replied, clearly disturbed. Their voices were muffled again, but to Zen's horror, there was no stopping the defilement of his ears. Too numbed to react, he could only listen in paralyzed shock.

Yoosung chuckled on the other end. "Just close your eyes and prepare yourself."

Zen finally found his voice. "Hey, you dog Yoosung!" he barked with fire still burning his cheeks. "I can't believe you! I thought you were the last person I'd have to worry about! Have you no respect for wedding vows? Keep your hands off Saeyoung's wife!" he was tempted to add, _And any fluids off her too_ , but just thinking of those words gave him a mental image that disturbed him to the core (And gave him a strange semi at the same time, although he was willing that impulse to calm down. He couldn't be a nasty wolf like Yoosung apparently was).

But he didn't get any response. He did, however, hear a highly disturbing sound that could only be described as... squirting.

"Ahhhh!" came MC's startled voice. Zen could hear her hitting Yoosung senseless. "You got it in my eye! And all over my-"

The call abruptly ended. His chest heaved up and down as a cold sweat broke out all over his body.

"Not today, Satan," he gasped with his hand clutched to his invisible pearls. He wasn't truly religious, but he wanted to pray to save his soul. His ears were ringing with their rated 19+ conversation.

He could hardly believe his ears. It couldn't be. MC and Saeyoung were in love... Right? But how could he deny what he'd heard so clearly?

It was true. It really was true. MC was cheating on Saeyoung with Yoosung.

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"Ahhhh! You got it in my eye! And all over my new sweater!"

"I'm sorry! I'll help you clean it up!" Yoosung whined. His violet eyes filled with tears as he looked in shock at MC.

Glaring at the blond, MC rubbed at her left eye. She looked over at the bedside table. Dozens of half-opened creams and skin care products littered the surface, along with nail polishes, tissues, and cotton swabs.

"Maybe having a spa night with you wasn't a good idea, Yoosung," she admitted with a defeated sigh.


	2. Zen Accidentally Calls Yoosung

I'm sorry for not mentioning this sooner. But as the story progresses, there will definitely be more spoilers, particularly for Seven's route, and the After End. Thank you so much, readers, followers, and reviewers! Please enjoy Zen's further descent into madness. (I promise I really like Zen as a character lol).

Disclaimer: I don't own Mystic Messenger. All characters and plot are property of Cheritz.

* * *

"Arghhhhh!"

Zen screamed loudly in frustration as he nearly ripped his hair out of his scalp. He'd tried everything to forget what he'd heard tonight. Sit ups. Push ups. Chin ups. Watching Sue Raoul's Drag Race (a secret guilty pleasure). Nothing worked. Every time he tried practicing his lines, or his dance moves, he heard MC's frantic shrieks in his head, along with Yoosung's nonchalant tone as he…

"Ahhhhh, stop!" Zen screamed as he squeezed his head between his palms. "I don't wanna think about this!"

The actor seriously considered his options. He could call MC up and try to… discuss what he'd heard. Maybe he could figure out why she was unhappy in her marriage, and try to fix it somehow.

 _But then she'll think I'm some kind of sick pervert for listening,_ he thought with a sinking heart. True, she had butt dialed him first, so it technically wasn't his fault that he'd heard. It was clear that Yoosung and MC believed they were safe from prying eyes (or ears, as was more fitting in this case). Whenever he imagined himself even attempting to bring it up, he felt incredibly flustered.

But Zen couldn't step back and do nothing. That wasn't his style. He had to talk to someone. He considered seeing if they were on the messenger to get to the bottom of all this. But then all of the RFA members would know. It was too embarrassing. Plus, how would that make Saeyoung feel, to find out about his wife's infidelity over the messenger?

He decided to go for a late night run instead. Maybe the cool air would help him forget. He grabbed his phone, quickly changed into some fitness gear, and made his way outside.

The frigid winter air slapped his face as he leaned into the darkness. His footsteps clapped against the pavement, the only sounds in a frosty night. _Winter makes me feel so lonely,_ Zen lamented, but he pushed on. His heart throbbed in his rib cage as his body started to sweat.

His tense muscles started to relax as he lost himself in the rigorous workout. But he wanted to change the song. He quickly switched between apps to choose a new tune, but his fingers slipped. Next thing he knew, Yoosung's profile picture shone up at him as he accidentally made the call to his cell.

"Ahh!" he exclaimed in surprise. The phone slid from his gloved hands and clattered onto the sidewalk. _Please don't be cracked, please don't be cracked_ , he prayed silently as he lunged down to snatch up his phone. Luckily, the smartphone screen had barely a scratch. But it was on speaker phone. And Yoosung's cheerful voice was blaring on the other end.

"Hiya, Zen~! What are you up to?" he chirped happily.

Zen quickly switched the phone from speaker so that he could listen and talk with some semblance of privacy. "'H-Hiya, Zen'? Yah! Don't answer me so cutely," he barked into the phone in between gasps for air. Now that the damage was done, he couldn't do much about it. Sure, he could claim that he'd dialed him by accident (which he had). But that wouldn't solve anything. And the youngest RFA member had answered, so maybe he knew why Zen had called somehow?

"Ouch! My ears!" he cried. "O-Okay, I won't answer so cutely. But I am cute."

"Listen!" he started. Zen straightened up and thought carefully about how to say this tactfully. It probably wasn't any of his business. Actually, he knew it wasn't.

But that didn't matter to him. MC was not only a female, she was an important part of the RFA. And more importantly, she was Saeyoung's wife. And Saeyoung, as childish as he could be with his pranks, was an important person to Zen. This was bigger than all of them. Their marriage was on the line, and it was all Yoosung's fault. The overprotective big brother in Zen just couldn't just let this travesty continue.

"Let me ask you this. Were you with MC tonight? Answer honestly!"

"W-What's it to you if I was with her or not?" he asked defensively.

"Just answer the damn question! Stop deflecting!" Zen cried passionately. He swiped at the sweat on his forehead.

Yoosung sounded almost guilty when he admitted, "W-well… Yes, she was over tonight. What does that matter?" Zen heard the blond's chattering teeth. "It's so cold out here. Why did he want to meet me here?" he mumbled to himself.

"What do you think you were doing to her, you bastard?!"

"I… I just gave her a facial, but I don't know why that's any of your business," he replied sullenly through chattering teeth.

"F-Facial?!" he squawked. He felt all of the blood in his body flood up to his cheeks. "Where did you learn such language, young man? You-You- You nasty dog, Yoosung!"

"What? I don't get it. Why are you so mad? I used to give Rika facials all the time!"

"Oh.. Omigod..." Another unpleasant image filtered through Zen's mind. He shook his head vigorously. "You can't be serious... That's..."

"And I gave MC a pearl necklace. But that was by accident, hehe," he chuckled, embarrassed.

Zen felt himself flush all over. "Wh-Wh-Wha-?!"

"Oh, wait," Yoosung said hastily. "Saeyoung! Over here!" Zen could hear Yoosung shouting to the fellow RFA member.

"Are you seriously being all buddy-buddy with Saeyoung now?! You damn wolf! Well, you can't get away from me that easily," Zen hissed. "I'll wait all night if I have to!"

But Yoosung wasn't listening. He was chatting with Saeyoung instead. Zen shifted from foot to foot on the street corner. His breath came out in clouds in the dark, cold night. He shivered. He wasn't wearing a coat, and now that he wasn't running, he felt even colder. The sweat was practically turning into ice shards on his skin.

Zen didn't want to overhear their conversation, but he had a feeling that if he hung up, Yoosung would just turn off his phone and not answer his phone calls. He felt a gnawing sense of responsibility to school Yoosung on how to respect not only women, but marriage as a whole. He was speaking so boldly, without any shame. _That boy has no respect,_ he thought to himself.

Unfortunately for Zen, his ears couldn't help but stick to the conversation on the other end.

"Saeyoung! I thought you were going to stand me up!"

Saeyoung's playful tone drifted unwillingly through his ears. "Yoosung! How could you think so poorly of me? I'm hurt, honestly."

"Okay, okay! Don't worry about it. Just give it to me."

A powerful sense of déjà vu flowed through Zen, but he brushed it off with a nervous laugh. _Saeyoung must've roped Yoosung into one of his hare-brained schemes,_ he guessed with a pitying shake of his head. Yoosung was just too gullible. _He probably deserves it,_ he couldn't help thinking bitterly, remembering his betrayal.

"Don't say I didn't warn you. It's hard and definitely not for amateurs." Zen could practically hear Saeyoung grinning when he said, "Now, hold onto this."

"Wow. It's so... big," Yoosung breathed. "I didn't expect it to be so, um..."

"It'll fit, I promise. You have to trust me."

"St-Stop teasing me!"

 _Wh-What the hell is going on?_ Zen wondered with dread. But he couldn't end the call. He was in a state of shock. _Hang up, hang up,_ he ordered himself. But he was a statue. His blood froze in his veins.

 _N-No. This can't be. Are Yoosung...? and Saeyoung...? Are they...? Are they?!_

"Enough playing. Let's get to business."

"Ow! Ow, Saeyoung! Saeyoung! You're hurting me!"

"I thought you liked pain. Aren't you an M?"

"I don't like that much pain!"

"You can do it! Put your back into it!" Saeyoung yelled between grunts and groans. Yoosung was groaning softly in the background. The sound was ten times more disturbing than the phone call earlier.

"Goddammit!" Zen yelled loudly.

"A-Ah! Z-Zen? You're still there! Ah, shit! I didn't hang up!" To the red-haired hacker, Yoosung called out, "Saeyoung! I can't do it anymore. I'm feeling sore! It's hurting my-!"

The call ended immediately. Zen took a moment to remove his phone from his ear. It was slick with his nervous perspiration.

His body heaved up and down as he struggled for air. Zen placed his hand over his racing heart.

"Oh, God, oh, God," he moaned. "What did I just hear?" His mind flashed to MC. Yoosung was with her intimately, not too long ago. And now he just all of a sudden started playing for the other team? On top of that, Saeyoung and MC were cheating on each other, with the same person? What was going on?

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"Saeyoung! I can't do it anymore. I'm feeling sore! It's hurting my arms! Grrrr!"

"You have to pull from your legs! Not your back... Aha... Sorry 'bout that, buddy."

"Arghhhh, just help me!"

Saeyoung rushed to Yoosung's back. Reaching his arms around, he grasped the pole and helped Yoosung pull.

"Rrrrrrnnnngggg," came Yoosung's grunt as he leaned back into Saeyoung. Yoosung bit his lip hard, eyebrows stitched together in concentration. Even though it was a freezing night, he was covered in sweat.

Together, Saeyoung and Yoosung pulled against the weight of the object that caught their fishing hook. But the fishing rod slipped from their grasp, and fell into the inky depths of the water.

"Dammit!" Saeyoung and Yoosung cursed simultaneously before falling onto the snow bank behind them. Their chests heaved with the exertion.

"Wow, the stars are pretty tonight," the blond gasped in wonder as he placed his hand over his heart. Above them, tiny pinpricks of light gleamed against the inky sky.

"Yeah," Saeyoung agreed between gasps. "Perfect night to go ice fishing."


	3. Zen Calls Jaehee

The insanity continues! I can't thank everyone enough for following, reading, reviewing, and favoriting this hot mess. Thank you so much! Now, on with the chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Mystic Messenger. All characters and plot are property of Cheritz.

* * *

 _Please pick up. Please…_

The ring of the phone on the other end vibrated through Zen's ears as he paced across the hardwood floor. He had the feeling that if he kept pacing in the oblong oval in the middle of his floor, he'd eventually wear down the wood and fall down into hell. Not that he one-hundred percent believed in such abstract concepts as an afterlife. But the night was certainly shaping up to be a hellish nightmare. Zen felt like he was in a terrible fanfic written by a deranged individual that he couldn't escape from. Or maybe he was being Punk'd. Who knew. All he knew was that he was feeling particularly traumatized from the events so far.

The phone kept ringing for thirty more seconds. It was a wonder that Jaehee's voicemail hadn't kicked in yet. He knew that he should probably just forget it and hang up. It was two in the morning, and the poor lamb was no doubt exhausted from being that trust fund jerk kid's personal slave/cat-sitter. She was probably asleep. At the same time, Zen just knew that she would be up working overtime for that rich brat. He wanted to hear Jaehee's soothing voice telling him that everything would be all right. Plus, she was bound to say some nice things about him, and he could use the compliments. He hadn't been complimented all night and it was seriously giving him nervous tics.

A click signified that the recipient had picked up. "Hello?" answered Jaehee in a tranquil tone.

Zen let out a huge relieved sigh. He hadn't realized how tense he was until her voice touched his ears. "Oh, Jaehee. Thank God you picked up," he managed to answer. Zen stopped mid-circle to concentrate on the conversation. "I hope I didn't call at a bad time. I'm sorry I called so late. I'm just having a weird night, and I had to tell someone about it." He paused to shiver in horror as he recalled the tortures he'd endured so far.

A pause, and then: "Oh, no… Not a bad time." However, Jaehee sounded far away, as if she had other things on her mind. If he listened more closely, he could swear she sounded almost hesitant to talk to him. His heart sank. Maybe this was a bad time. A zing of anger for Jumin Han shot through him _. That damn trust fund kid,_ he fumed.

"What's on your mind, Zen?" she queried, genuinely engaged in the conversation now. Zen grinned. A rush of relief engulfed him.

"Well, just listen to this. Everything started off normal, just an average, lonely night…" He trailed off to shudder in self-pity for his sad love life. "But then the crown jewel of the RFA called me when I got out of the shower…"

"'Got out… of the shower…' Oh, my. I feel hot all of a sudden…"

Zen chuckled. He could practically hear the longing in Jaehee's voice. Who could blame her, or any woman, honestly?

"Yeah, I needed a hot shower to soothe my muscles after my workout." He paused to kiss his flexed bicep. "All of this sexiness… It's such a plight to be made so freakishly perfect. I barely need to work out, but I just do it for the selfies. Anyways," he continued, reeling himself in. He was getting off topic. "She called me and I picked up, but it turned out that it was a mistake. She must've dialed me accidentally when her phone was in her back pocket or something. She wasn't alone. She was with that dirty dog, Yoosung! And they were… They were…" He stopped to sob dramatically. "Oh, God. Jaehee, the things they were saying… What they were doing together…"

"What could they have possibly been doing? You don't mean…"

Another shiver rolled through his body. "I don't know. I'm not a wolf, and I thought Yoosung was an innocent lamb, but—"

"Zen, I'm so sorry to interrupt. Could you please hang on for a moment?"

A cold feeling of dread dripped over his conscious, but he tried to ignore it. Jaehee sounded like she was in a restaurant or somewhere public. She also hadn't mentioned being with anyone. Most likely she was wrapping up some work over some fried chicken and soju. Just because he heard some freaky shit going on the last two times didn't mean it would happen with his hardworking friend. Jaehee wasn't like that. She was actually normal.

"Sure, Jaehee," he answered cheerfully. He was starting to feel better already. _I'm glad at least one person in the RFA isn't a freak,_ he thought to himself with a satisfied smile.

"Thank you," she replied. He heard a muffled sound; she was probably placing the phone face down so that she could concentrate on the task at hand.

He heard some shuffling papers. She was probably going to take a while. "Should I call back?" he asked her, even though he knew she couldn't hear him. He lamented that he hadn't called her tomorrow morning instead. He could feel a zit forming under his perfect skin. This was prime skin repairing time and he was wasting it.

Zen was about to make a simple cucumber face mask to apply to his skin while he was on hold. But before he could make his way to the kitchen, another muffled voice pricked his ears.

 _Jumin,_ Zen seethed. No wonder she sounded slightly distressed. Jumin probably forced Jaehee to go on a late night meeting with him, and on a Friday too! _Just because he doesn't have anything better to do…_

"Do we have to do this, Mr. Han?" came Jaehee's muffled voice on the other end.

Zen's blood pressure started to rise. _Jaehee… Poor Jaehee… How dare he give her more work when she's already working so hard…?!_

"Hey, you damn cat freak robot! Stop bothering Jaehee!" Zen bellowed, hoping that he would hear. He had to give him a piece of his mind.

But there was no answer for his outburst. Instead, Jumin responded with, "Of course we do, Assistant Kang. A bet is a bet. You were so cocky before. I guess you were all talk."

"Mr. Han," she replied weakly. "I saw you earlier sniffing a Sharkie marker in your office. You don't happen to be high, are you?"

"Quit stalling," he said sternly. "And I'm not high. Just drunk. Had too much of that poison… What do you commoners call it? Soju? Despicable liquor."

"Mr. Han, I'm quite tired. So I'd suggest you get it over with. It's been a long week."

"Oh, you're not getting any rest tonight. I'm gonna beat it up all night." Zen could practically hear Jumin's confident smirk. The words made Zen feel both angry and weirdly turned on.

"I'm not turned on, damn devil," Zen grumbled to himself.

But he couldn't bring his fingers to end the call. It was like a twisted audiobook that he couldn't stop listening to, if sadistic devil wenches wrote literature.

"I'm gonna be making you scream, so get ready for me."

"But Mr. Han… We're in public…"

"Hardly. We're in a secluded booth in this hellhole. Anyways, I don't care. I want it here and now. Satisfy my wishes."

"..." was Jaehee's reply. Zen nibbled his nails down to the quick. They were practically jagged shreds at this point. He felt so on edge.

"Just what do you think you're doing to Jaehee, pervert?!" Zen shrieked with the sinking realization that he couldn't escape this punishment. "Jaehee doesn't want it! She said no!"

"Oh, all right," Zen heard Jaehee sigh. "Just give it all you got. Don't hold back."

Then the worst sound in the world started filling his ears: their grunts and what sounded like heavy creaking in the background.

"That all you got?" Jaehee grunted over the noise. "You were talking shit but I guess you can't go any harder than that."

Zen heard Jumin curse. "That's it. I'm going to shut that mouth with my—"

Zen screamed as the phone flew out of his trembling hands and tumbled to the floor.

 _What… did I just… hear?_ Zen wondered in astonishment. His body quaked with genuine fear and disgust. Images of Jumin and Jaehee together swirled in his head…

 _No… Not Jaehee too. Damn, damn, damn._

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"Fuck. That's it. I'm going to shut that mouth with my skills. Get ready."

Jaehee's brow dripped with sweat as she nearly matched Jumin's power.

"Goddammit," she swore through clenched teeth.

Their hands were clasped so tight, perspiration slicked both of their palms. Jaehee pressed all of her weight on her forearm to give herself an edge.

It seemed to be working. Jumin, who was both out of shape and too high-class to engage in such uncouth behavior, was starting to show signs of wearing down.

But with a gleam in his eyes, he used his biceps to force Jaehee's arm down to the table.

"I won," he gasped with a knowing smirk. Jumin paused to whip out a handkerchief to wipe the sweat from his red face. "This thing that commoners call arm wrestling… I quite enjoy it. We should use this method to settle all of our disputes, don't you think?"

Jaehee glared at Jumin through her rectangular frames as she nursed her injured arm. She'd put up a brave fight, but she ultimately lost to the cat freak.

"You know what happens next. I won, so that means that the cat project will go through as planned. A cat hookah lounge… It's brilliant."

The short-haired brunette sweatdropped with a grimace. "Dammit. I can imagine all of the c-fur I'll have to endure." She shook her head sadly. "The life of an assistant is not as glamorous as Yoosung thinks."


	4. Zen Calls Saeran

Before I continue, this chapter contains some serious spoilers for Secret After End 1 and Seven's After End. If you haven't gotten that far in the game, proceed with caution. There's blatant spoilers throughout.

On to the chapter notes: I originally wrote this chapter with V and Rika in mind. But then I played through V's After End. Gosh. So sad. I almost cried (seriously). V had a lot of flaws, but I still liked his character, so his death was such a shock. (Damn Rika, grrrr.)

Since this fanfic is set primarily in Saeyoung's route/the Secret After Ends, I wanted to incorporate those elements. I completely rewrote the chapter, and I'm honestly happy with how it came out.

There's a bit of sappiness, sadness, and fluff in this chapter, but I tried to keep the rest as lighthearted and humorous as possible. (Does anyone find this funny? Maybe I have a unique sense of humor lol.)

I know that was a long-winded and most likely useless explanation, but as always, thank you to those who are still here. You guys are dope. Let's do this.

Disclaimer: I don't own Mystic Messenger. All characters and plot are property of Cheritz.

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4:00am.

Zen knew it was 4:00am because the time was emblazoned into his eyeballs. And the reason the time was emblazoned into his eyeballs was because he was staring endlessly into the blue light of his smartphone.

The wallpaper on his lock screen was a picture of them at their very first RFA party. Saeyoung, red-haired and bespectacled, was grinning goofily into the camera. A brunette Yoosung smiled up hesitatingly. Jumin just looked constipated, and Jaehee looked stiff compared to the others. V had a cryptic smile on his face, but it hadn't ruined his good looks. And Zen (last but certainly not least) was the most handsome of them all. He outshone everyone in the picture, with his charming smile and warm ruby eyes. RFA meant so much to him, and to everyone. Despite butting heads with most of the males in the group, they were good people. And V was the sole reason he'd stayed.

 _But now…_ Zen traced V's face with his finger. A wave of sadness engulfed him. It hurt to think about him, now that he was gone.

He shot up from the bed and unlocked his screen. He logged into the messenger and looked at the chatroom history. Nothing. No one was online. No one had participated in any chats since 23:00pm last night.

Zen wasn't sure how to go about this now. He knew he should feel disgusted with all of them, and he was. But if he were honest with himself, he almost felt jealous. Despite all of the infidelity on Saeyoung and MC's end, for the most part, it sounded as though everyone was having incredible sex. Meanwhile, the last time he'd gotten laid was… He thought hard about it. His last girlfriend. Damn. Five years ago.

But he couldn't wrap his head around how messy their relations were. First and foremost, the RFA was a charity organization, which meant that they had no choice but to work collaboratively with each other. Yes, they were all friends… mostly. But it didn't change the fact that mixing business with pleasure was not a good idea. Saeyoung and MC didn't count. They were a special case. What freaked him out the most was that the long-time members were getting busy with each other so shamelessly.

Zen tried so hard to go to sleep, but it was elusive. Every time he closed his eyes, their voices and moans rang through his ears. He shivered in horror.

What disturbed him the most was that MC and Saeyoung were cheating on each other. He wasn't sure one-hundred percent of the situation however. Maybe they had an open marriage. It was certainly a possibility. Hell, maybe they were into some kinky shit, and MC and Saeyoung were sharing Yoosung, sister wife style. Or what if Saeyoung and Yoosung were sharing MC? He gasped at the thought.

He looked through his contacts, scrolling until he found MC. He looked at her avatar with pity. He knew that she was a culprit in this warped scenario too. But he couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Saeyoung had broken their marriage vows too. There was a chance that she had no idea of Saeyoung's true preference. The truth would crush her.

 _Should I call her?_ he wondered soberly. He slid a finger over her avatar, a cute unicorn. In person, she was as cute as Saeyoung said she was. She was such a good person, always caring and kind. He felt like he owed her the truth. But he was torn between his friends. Saeyoung was important to him as well. He felt so torn and confused.

But as his finger levitated over her number, another contact caught his glance.

Saeran.

Zen scrolled down to his entry and hesitated. Ever since V died, Zen had felt lost and alone. He was Zen's closest friend. He trusted him like a brother. If anyone could understand how he felt, it was him. But now, he couldn't confide in him. Even though V hid so many secrets from them, his betrayal hadn't tarnished his memory.

If V were still alive, he would've asked him for advice. But lately, Zen found himself confiding a lot in Saeyoung's twin brother, Saeran. It was such a shock. Not only did Saeyoung have a twin, but that same twin was behind the messenger hacking. On top of that, Saeran was a disciple of the religious cult that had been targeting the RFA: Mint Eye. Convincing Saeran to see the truth was difficult. He'd felt so hurt and betrayed. But time, therapy, and support had uncovered a new, softer person. Now that Saeran was back on the right path, and away from that wack job religious cult, he was more trusting and open. He even had the same weird sense of humor as Saeyoung.

He thought back to the current dilemma. It was such a crazy night. And he didn't want MC to get hurt. He didn't want Saeyoung to get hurt either. But he wasn't sure if it was business to let her know. What could he say to her anyway?

' _Hello, MC? Yeah, it's Zen. Yeah, I'm good. Listen, you know how you thought Saeyoung was so faithful to you? Well, Yoosung and Saeyoung were having sex last night. How do I know? Uhm, er…. Nevermind how I know. Anyways, Saeyoung's cheating on you, and with a dude no less. The same dude that you're cheating on Saeyoung with. So you're basically getting your husband's sloppy seconds. Okay, bye!'_

Zen cringed with the fake exchange. It was such a delicate issue. V wasn't there to help, but Saeran could give him some worthwhile advice, he was sure of it.

He wasn't having much luck with phone calls. Everywhere he turned, he heard things he wasn't supposed to hear. But Saeran was different. Different from all of them. Jumin was a sadistic pervert, Yoosung was a two-faced homewrecker who played for both teams, Saeyoung was just nasty, and Jaehee was a closet freak too.

Zen yawned loudly. He was so tired but he just couldn't sleep. Maybe hearing Saeran's advice would help soothe his spirit. This whole scenario involved Saeran's brother after all. Who better to talk to about his own brother than him?

 _No, it's late. I can't,_ he told himself.

But before he knew it, his fingers were pressing his number and the phone was ringing.

 _Dammit,_ he swore. He truly felt possessed. But before he could hang up, Saeran answered the call.

"Hello?" He barely sounded phased that Zen was calling him so late. Saeran mentioned once that he was a night owl, so it made sense. But he felt a twinge of guilt. He didn't want to disturb him.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to call you. I'll hang up," Zen whispered.

"Don't worry. I was up. Just making a cup of coffee actually. What's going on?"

"Well…" Zen whipped the blanket off of his torso so that he could sit up. "I've just been having the craziest night, but… Nevermind. I guess that's not important. I wanted to ask you for some advice."

Saeran's voice turned curious. "Advice? Is everything okay?"

Zen squirmed. This was so embarrassing. "Well… I think that…" In a rush, Zen told his suspicions to Saeran.

"What? So you're saying that MC is cheating on Saeyoung with Yoosung? And Saeyoung is cheating on MC with Yoosung too?" he asked dubiously. "How did you come to that conclusion?"

"Ah… Don't ask me, but trust me on this. I caught Yoosung and MC being very… intimate with each other. And I kinda… saw Saeyoung and Yoosung being all lovey-dovey together." The whole thing was a white lie, but it sounded more credible than some overheard exchanges over the phone.

"Together…? You sure you're not blowing it out of proportion?"

Zen thought back to the exchange earlier. He squirmed in his seat. There was no way he'd misconstrued their relationship. "I'm sure of it," Zen said firmly. "Like… they're together together. No doubt about it."

To his surprise, Saeran cackled in response. "S-Sorry, Zen, but I couldn't help but laugh," he confessed between poorly suppressed chuckles. "Listen, not sure what you thought you saw, but last time I checked, Saeyoung is one-hundred percent straight." Saeran sighed as the bed springs creaked underneath him; he was probably getting more comfortable in his bed. "Not only that, but Saeyoung is completely faithful to MC. And she's faithful to him too. I've never seen two people so obsessed with each other. It's kind of nauseating to be honest," he added good-naturedly.

"W—Well, I—I don't know," Zen said sheepishly. Thinking about it made his brain hurt.

"Okay, well I just don't think Saeyoung would willingly be a homewrecker. He's my brother. He's got a loyal heart."

"Well…" Zen found it hard to argue with that logic. "You've got a point there."

"Maybe there's a chance you misunderstood. I don't know Yoosung all that well, but I have a feeling that he's a good person. He wouldn't break up a happy home like that. And I know for sure that Saeyoung's a good guy. You should sleep on it and figure out what to do in the morning. But I wouldn't go confronting them about it. I think you're just having a weird night and it's affecting your judgement."

"Damn. You're right." Zen smiled into the phone, feeling relieved. "Thanks, Saeran. I'll go to bed and forget about it."

"That's good. Don't freak out so much and just get some rest. Good night, Zen."

"Thanks again, man. You're the best. Good night, Saeran."

Zen hung up and placed his phone by his bedside table. The battery blinked in the right corner of his phone.

"I'll charge it later…," he mumbled. As soon as his face hit the pillow, he fell into a dreamless sleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Huh?!"

Zen shot up in his bed. His skin was clammy with sweat. The sky was still dark. He instinctively grabbed his phone. He noticed with a frown that it was completely dead.

 _Maybe I should go back to sleep,_ he tried to tell himself. _It's too early to wake up._ But he felt oddly refreshed. He could at least check his fanpage to see the new comments. His fans always brightened his spirits.

He plugged in his charger and connected his phone to the long USB cord. He took the time to do some early morning push-ups to rev himself up. Afterwards, he took a long, hot shower. By the time he brewed some strong coffee, and lit his first cigarette of the day, his phone was at seventy percent.

When he turned his phone on, he noticed that he'd gotten a voicemail.

From Saeran.

Alarm bells rang in Zen's head. He feared the worst. Rika was no longer the Savior, and Mint Eye was destroyed for the most part. But there were still some hardcore Mint Eye disciples who'd gone rogue. Their whereabouts were unknown, but no doubt they were lying low, scheming. Most likely they were trying to reestablish Mint Eye with Saeran as their new Savior. It made sense; Saeran was one of the most talented young hackers in the world, besides Saeyoung. A powerful hacker would make a great Savior. What if Saeran was in trouble? What if some crazed Mint Eye disciples found out where Saeran was and kidnapped him? He didn't want to have pessimistic thoughts, but he couldn't control the tremor in his hands as he pressed the number to call his voicemail.

"You have one new message," the automated female bot voice announced when he keyed in his password.

"Saeran… Please be okay," he said quietly, worry gnawing at his stomach.

The first few seconds were silent. Zen waited anxiously. He expected to hear sounds of a struggle. A physical fight. Saeran's pleading voice as he cried out for help. But as the silence stretched, he found his anxiety lessening. He let out a relieved, half-crazed peal of laughter. Sleep deprivation was a crazy thing. He was showing signs of paranoia now. This was nothing more than a big mistake. But this was innocuous for once.

Zen was about to press the number seven to delete the mistaken voicemail until he heard something that made his body heat up.

It wasn't Saeran, and he definitely wasn't in trouble.

There were no words. Only sounds.

Moaning sounds.

Sounds of passion assaulted his ears. It sounded as if Saeran and that mystery person were both doing it right against his ear. That's how lifelike it was.

 _Please, oh please, God, no…_

"You feel so good," Saeran said thickly between heavy breaths.

"Mmmmm, Saeran. Don't stop."

Zen paled as a terrifying realization hit him. _That voice… It can't be..._

He heard other sounds too. Ungodly sounds. Flesh hitting flesh sounds. Bed springs creaking sounds. "Oh my God" sounds.

"Saeran… Saeran… Saeran! I'm gonna c—"

"End of message. To delete this message, press seven. To save, press nine. To repeat this message again, press four," the automated voice said in a monotone.

Zen just sat there in shock. His ears were practically on fire at this point.

"This is some crazy dream, right? I'm being Punk'd right? This just can't happen. Life isn't some stupid game. I'm totally getting pranked, right? Ha-ha, very funny, Saeyoung. Where are the damn cameras?" he asked crazily as he wandered around and inspected the contents of his bedroom.

The automated voice repeated the earlier instructions. Shaking, he pressed wildly at the keypad.

"...Ohhhhhhh," came those hideous moans again.

"Fucking shit!" Zen screamed as he pulled his phone away from his ear with a jerk. He'd meant to press seven to delete it, but his finger slipped and hit four to repeat it again. Angrily, he flung his phone at the ground.

"I FUCKING GIVE UP ON LIFE!" he shouted as he belly flopped into bed and threw the covers over his head.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Exhausted, Saeran flopped back onto the bed. His heart throbbed wildly in his chest. He placed a hand over it as he struggled for air. A smile kissed his lips. Saeran closed his eyes with a satisfied sigh.

This late night visit was an unexpected but pleasant surprise. After his phone call with Zen, he'd received a, "You up?" text from his favorite RFA member. He'd answered back that he wasn't the type for a late night booty call (a lie of course). But he could never say no. Not after that coy but sexy call he received shortly after he'd texted back.

"Babe?" he gasped, sitting up and drawing the covers around his waist. He was starting to feel lonely. It was a familiar feeling, but different this time. This longing for another person was so powerful. He wasn't sure he could take it any longer.

Ten minutes later, she emerged looking so perfect in the moonlight. He gasped.

She was dripping wet from the shower. A towel was spiraled around her frame, which hid her body. Her hair was a dark chestnut from the shower. She looked so hot, with her full lips pursed and the droplets still clinging to her skin.

"I would've joined you if you said you were gonna shower," Saeran smirked as she walked up to him.

Jaehee quickly toweled off, then slipped into one of his t-shirts that was slung over the bedpost. She melted back into bed. Back into his arms. He grinned. He loved when she wore his shirts to bed.

The short-haired RFA member cuddled into the crook of Saeran's neck. The simple gesture made his heart jump. How did she have such an effect on him?

"I'm sleepy…," Jaehee mumbled softly as her eyelashes fluttered. He traced her cheek tenderly with a brush of his hand.

"You work so hard," he cooed as he touched a fingertip to her lips. Oh, how he wanted to taste them again, but she was worn out, both from their vigorous lovemaking and from work-related stress. It was already so late. "You should get some rest."

"Will you get some rest too?" she asked in a voice thick with sleep. He chuckled. She was so cute.

"Of course, darling. We'll even meet in our dreams. I'll take you out for an expensive steak dinner and wine. Won't that be nice?"

"I wish… I wish we didn't have to hide…"

"I know," he frowned as he held her protectively to his frame. "Just wait a little more, love. I promise we'll tell everyone when the time is right. Timing is everything."

Jaehee made what sounded like a disagreeing huff against his chest. He laughed. "Trust me. Things are so delicate now. It hasn't been very long since V's funeral. It wouldn't be proper to say anything now. No one suspects anything about our relationship. We have to pretend just a little more. But know that you're always shaking up my world whenever you look at me. I can barely contain myself around you. You're a dangerous woman, Jaehee Kang. You took down a pro hacker."

He lit up when he saw her soft, gentle smile. "I know what you mean. You drive me crazy too."

"It's crazy how much I've changed," Saeran reminisced. "At first, I was a loyal Mint Eye disciple. I just wanted to crush the RFA. Now, I just want to crush your punani. What a change."

Jaehee sat up and cocked her eyebrow disapprovingly at him. "Did you just say punani? Dude, you totally ruined the vibe just now."

"Oh, was that not funny?" he chuckled. "Sorry. My joking mechanism must be broken. I just wanted to make you laugh."

She tried to keep her face stern, but a twist of her lips and a gleam in her eyes gave her away. "Idiot," she snickered.

It wasn't long before the secret lovers fell asleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Saeran slowly blinked his eyes open. He squinted against the bright sunlight that was floating through the window. Once he won against the sun's blinding glare, he looked down at a still sleeping Jaehee. She took most of the covers last night, as evidenced by the way they were knotted around her legs. He laughed softly at her sleepy greed.

As if aware of his watching eyes, she stirred slowly. He peered into dark chocolate orbs as her eyelids fluttered open.

"Mornin', gorgeous," he murmured.

Jaehee smiled up at him so happily. "Good morning, handsome."

"What should we do today? It's Saturday. You're free from that dictator today," he said gently. Saeran swept her bangs out of her face to kiss her forehead tenderly.

Jaehee grimaced. "That's if Mr. Han doesn't have any new projects for me. He seems quite obsessed with becoming a cat drug dealer," she sighed.

Saeran frowned slightly. "You're mine today. Turn off your phone so that he can't reach you. Speaking of phone…" The white-haired former hacker trailed off to let his eyes dash around the room. "Where is my phone?"

As if answering his question, he heard a warning beep. That usually meant that his phone was about to die. Saeran swore under his breath. "I should charge that."

After a few moments of investigation, Jaehee turned around, stuck her arm all the way down between the headboard and the mattress, and dropped the missing phone into his lap. "Found it."

Once Saeran connected his phone to the charger, he casually checked to see if anything interesting happened on the messenger last night. He was thumbing through randomly when he accidentally pressed his outgoing call history.

His call history…

Saeran paled. His heart throbbed so wildly, he could practically hear it in his ears.

"What is it?" Jaehee asked, voice brushed with concern. She slung her arms around his broad shoulders and leaned in close to see the cause of his distress. She gasped.

"No…," she said weakly.

"I received a call from Zen last night, really late. But I don't remember making a call to him last night," he replied, thinking out loud. His mind raced as he remembered everything he did and said to Jaehee the night before. He groaned in frustration.

Jaehee looked at the call history with a squint. "It says you made a call to him last night at 4:37am last night. But that was the around the time that we were…" He felt her body temperature rise behind him. No doubt she was glowing bright red from embarrassment.

"Dammit," he cursed as he punched his thighs through the blankets that barely covered his lap. He gritted his teeth, feeling both nervous and angry at himself for being so careless.

"Maybe he just ignored it… He might not have even picked up," Jaehee said hopefully. She turned to face him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. But her face betrayed the worry she felt. She avoided eye contact as she told him those fake optimistic words.

"Or maybe he picked up because he's a good guy, and he heard the whole thing," Saeran hissed. "Sorry," he immediately apologized when he saw her face fall. He stroked her hair, then cupped her face. "I'm just so worried, babe. No one knew about us. Until now. And…"

"And… if he heard us… together… He might—"

"No," he said firmly, willing himself to believe in Zen. "He wouldn't snitch on us like that. He's not a bad guy. He can't be that petty—"

Simultaneously, Jaehee's and Saeran's phones chimed. They both had a new chatroom alert. They checked their phones with dread.

"Dammit," Saeran groaned. "It's Zen."


	5. Zen Has a Nervous Breakdown Part One

I'm so grateful to everyone who's reading, whether you've just come aboard the crazy train with me, or have been reading along for a while. A special thank you goes out to Rishia and Mime for reviewing the previous chapter! Time for the madness to continue.

Disclaimer: I don't own Mystic Messenger. All characters and plot are property of Cheritz.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 **[ZEN has entered the chatroom]**

 **ZEN:** Hey! Everyone better get online right now! *angry face emojis*

 **ZEN:** I mean it! When you see this, get logged onto the messenger because I sure as hell need answers right now!

 **[Yoosung* has entered the chatroom]**

He didn't even offer any excuses. His shocked emoji just blinked up at him, followed by his crying face emoji.

 **ZEN:** Stop making faces and explain yourself!

 **Yoosung*:** Btu Zen! I dodnfn knkbf what's gong on!

Zen could tell he was frantic from his big blue dripping speech bubble. Plus, he was making more typos than usual, and they weren't even logical typos. It was as if he were punching the keyboard wildly without any knowledge of how to form proper words, let alone sentences.

Zen's heart softened. He felt bad yelling at Yoosung, even if it was just on the messenger app. The kid was so sensitive. But Zen needed answers. He had tossed and turned all night trying to make sense of what he'd been subjected to last night. Perhaps it was bad timing, like Saeran said.

 _Saeran…_ Just thinking his name sent horrified chills through his body. He couldn't stop remembering that X-rated voicemail. It was enough to give him lasting emotional scars.

 **ZEN:** ;;; ...Sorry, Yoosung. I'm a little messed up. Okay, a lot messed up. I've been up all night. I'm so confused.

 **ZEN:** But Yoosung, how could you be a homewrecker? Does Yoosung Kim and Saeyoung Choi is Gay together?!

Yoosung sent him a confused face emoji again.

 **Yoosung*:** What are you talkmg bout Zeng? im fnot a homfedekcjer!

 **ZEN:** Hey, typos. Can barely understand you.

 **Yoosung*:** Why do you think I'm a homewrecker when I'm not?!

Zen used several speech bubbles to describe every single call he'd heard, starting with when MC butt dialed him, and ending at Jaehee and Jumin. He recounted each moan, every overheard conversation, and how everyone had been about to say something dirty right before the call ended. But he couldn't bring himself to talk about the most scarring call of all: that explicit voicemail from Saeran and Jaehee.

 **ZEN:** So now you understand! I need to find out what's going on! And why is no one else online?!

 **[MC has entered the chatroom]**

 **[Saeyoung has entered the chatroom]**

 **MC:** What is going on? *nervous sweating emoji* I read all of the messages. But I'm so confused.

 **Saeyoung:** Yeah. Shouldn't you calm down, Zen? Maybe I can send my robot cat to cheer you up! *thumbs up emoji*

 **ZEN:** I. Hate. Cats.

 **Saeyoung:** Oh, right. Hehe ;;; My robot dog then.

 **ZEN:** It spits out fire! Are you trying to get me killed?!

Saeyoung simply responded with his shaking fists and crying emoji face.

 **MC:** I think we need to explain ourselves… For Zen's sake.

 **Saeyoung:** My babe… Always the voice of reason *heart eyed emoji face*

 **ZEN:** Goddammit…

 **Saeyoung:** Okay. Sorry. Hehe. Got sidetracked there. Babe… Can you start us off? We'll take turns explaining.

 **MC:** Okay. Well, it started last night. Saeyoung and I… got into an argument.

Zen wasn't sure how this related to the strange calls.

 **ZEN:** Argument?

 **Saeyoung:** Yeah... It was so stupid. We were having a rap battle. My wife's a savage. Straight raw bars son. She really let it all go. Just straight up slaughtered me emotionally.

 **MC:** Not something I'm proud of.

 **Saeyoung:** Aw, babe. All is forgiven. You're a great rapper. Don't doubt yourself. I just got mad because you clearly beat me, and you hurt my feelings lol.

 **ZEN:** Guys…

 **MC:** Sorry, Zen. So anyway, we had a big argument. Saeyoung went for a drive to clear his head. I wanted to call Jaehee to talk about how frustrated I was feeling, but I called Yoosung instead.

 **Yoosung*:** Yeah. She told me she was feeling down and I suggested she come over to have a spa night. Just so she could relax and calm down. *blushing face emoji*

 **ZEN:** Spa night?

 **Yoosung*:** Yeah.

 **ZEN:** So… when I called you and you said you gave her a facial… You meant a literal facial?'

 **Yoosung*:** Huh? What other kind of facial is there?

 **[Jumin Han has entered the chatroom]**

'Tsk, Tsk, Yoosung my boy,' Saeyoung interrupted. 'So young and cute. A facial is when a man—'

 **ZEN:** Ooooookkayyyyy, let's get back on track ;;; So you're saying that you and MC had a spa night when she accidentally called? And that's what I heard?

He could barely believe what he was reading, but MC and Yoosung seemed so sincere.

 **Yoosung*:** Yeah! We gave each other facials—er, I guess I should say that we put face masks on each other.

Following his text was a picture of him and MC. Their faces were caked in identical green gooey-looking face masks. Yoosung's hair was pulled back in a fuzzy pink headband, but MC's long bangs still fell over her eyes. Their wide grins made their face masks crack slightly, and they were throwing up matching peace signs.

 **ZEN:** Wow... You seriously… were giving her a facial— I-I mean…;;;

 **Yoosung*:** Zen… Did you forget?!

He could practically heard the whine in Yoosung's message.

 **Yoosung*:** I'm going to beauty school to become an esthetician. I dropped out of college and everything

 **ZEN:** But I thought you wanted to be a vet! Didn't you want to save animals because Rika couldn't save Sally?'

 **Yoosung*:** No one cares about my major! Not even when I change my major! Well, I guess it's not technically a major. But still! *angry face emoji*

 **Yoosung*:** No one cares when I change career paths! I feel so unloved!

 **MC:** Yoosung, I understand you're upset, but we should continue.

 **Yoosung*:** Right. Hehe. Sorry.

 **Saeyoung:** So that solves one mystery. But now it's time for me and Yoosung to tell our story.

 **ZEN:** Please explain. I can't **_wait_** to hear what you two come up with.

 **Saeyoung:** Right. Well, uh Yoosung, you were the one who talked to Zen first so maybe you can help me out?

 **Yoosung*:** Oh, now your call makes more sense! When you called me, you were so angry! You thought I was doing something weird with MC. But I wasn't! Let me explain.

 **ZEN:** You're forgetting something. I overheard you and Saeyoung. You two sounded like you were… Like you were…

Saeyoung texted his shocked face, glasses breaking emoji, followed by his emoji self on all fours sighing. Yoosung simply cried in emoji form.

 **Yoosung*:** No way! Never ever in a million years! Me? With Saeyoung?! Impossible!'

 **Saeyoung:** No way seconded. I'm devoted to my love. I take my wedding vows very seriously! I promised my heart and love to my baby and that will never change.

 **ZEN:** I heard what I heard!

 **Saeyoung:** You heard me pranking Yoosung.'

 **ZEN:** Pranking?

 **Yoosung*:** Yeah, damn Saeyoung! *angry face emoji* He made me meet him at Kolji Pond at like two in the morning, after MC left. He said there was a crazy rare LOLOL expansion pack that a very skilled, wise old LOLOL master threw in the pond. He said that the first one to find the sunken treasure would have eternal glory in the LOLOL world.

 **Saeyoung:** I needed to let off some steam after getting my ass handed to me by my own sweet darling wife,' Saeyoung added.

 **ZEN:** So lemme get this straight. You were ice fishing when I heard you and Saeyoung together?

 **Yoosung*:** Yeah!

To back up his claim, he sent a picture. It was of an open treasure chest. There was a huge ancient-looking treasure map inside. But in large red letters, it read, "You've been phished!" in Saeyoung's messy handwriting.

 **Saeyoung:** Hehehe… Sorry, buddy.'

 **Yoosung*:** Sorry? Sorry?! I believed you! Can't believe I fell for another one of your tricks again! Arghhh!

 **ZEN:** I'm sensing a pattern here… Damn… You all really got me… Wonder where everyone else is. They have some explaining to do.

 **Jumin Han:** Hey now

 **ZEN:** What do you mean, 'Hey now'?! You cat freak…! You were here the whole time! Why didn't you say anything?!

 **Jumin Han:** Idiot. I had nothing to add to this unsavory conversation. Until now. I didn't know you were such a pervert. You have a very active imagination. Don't imagine sick fantasies between myself and my assistant. We have a strictly professional relationship.

 **[Jaehee Kang has entered the chatroom]**

 **Jaehee Kang:** Yes… If dragging me into cat schemes is your definition of professional, then we have a **very** professional relationship.

 **ZEN:** Goddammit, you're both here so start explaining. Jaehee, how could you? And with that robot freak too? Not to mention that...

He could practically hear the ice in Jaehee's response with her next response.

 **Jaehee Kang:** Not to mention _**what**_ exactly, Zen? I have no idea what you're talking about.

She made sure to add her smiling yellow flowers emoji. He knew she was not too subtly hinting for him to shut his trap about her and Saeran, so he let it go for now.

 **ZEN:** Never mind;;;… But seriously, I knew that cat obsessed robot freak was a weird dude. But doing it out in public… Isn't that a bit…

 **Jumin Han:** NO.

 **Jaehee Kang:** Absolutely not. Don't be absurd.

 **Jumin Han:** I don't owe you any sort of explanation. You heard an exchange that was supposed to be private. Assistant Kang failed to do her job correctly. She had to be punished.

 **ZEN:** Why you…!

 **Jaehee Kang:** Mr. Han. You may not feel like you owe Zen an explanation, but it's my dignity on the line here too. I feel obligated to tell my side of the story, whether you like it or not.

 **Jumin Han:** Do as you please. I don't have the emotional capacity to understand your logic, and I couldn't care less what Zen thinks.

Zen wanted to come up with a witty comeback, but nothing came to him. Plus, talking to Jumin, even on the messenger, gave him a serious headache.

 **Jaehee Kang:** It started when Mr. Han… er, in an altered state of mind, called me out to get drinks. I thought it was a little odd, but he said he wanted to experience life as a commoner. We met up, but it was a ploy for him to roll out his new cat business idea—

Jumin cut in, using a special speech bubble with the golden crown in the corner because his idea was just that damn important.

 **Jumin Han:** A hookah lounge for cats. Hookah that cats can smoke. Only the finest grade hookah plus extra potent and organic catnip. It's a genius idea.

 **Jaehee Kang:** ...Anyway, Mr. Han was very insistent on opening up an opium den for cats.

 **Jumin Han:** Hookah lounge.

 **Jaehee Kang:** ...Right. So I tried to persuade him not to go through with it. Who would back up such a ludicrous business plan? Where would we get the investors? He suggested that we arm wrestle. If he won, we would go forward with the plan. If I won, it would be forgotten.

 **ZEN:** That hardly sounds like a fair fight. Not to be sexist but... ladies are delicate flowers and they shouldn't be subjected to such brute force.

He just couldn't believe this claim. It sounded like a lame excuse. But Jaehee wouldn't lie to him, would she? He wasn't sure what to believe anymore.

 **ZEN:** Evidence. Where's your evidence? Hahaha. This is so strange. Wtf.

 **Jaehee Kang:** Zen… I'm disappointed that you have such little faith in me. But if you insist, I will try to find evidence for you.'

He waited a few minutes for her response. Saeyoung made a lame joke about wanting to get some popcorn, but no one even lol'd at his attempt to lighten the mood.

 **Jaehee Kang:** Thank God for gossip talk shows sometimes. Found something.

She backed up her claim with a screenshot of a YouTube video. A tall black woman with wavy honey-blond hair sat in a large purple chair, mouth frozen mid-sentence. A paparazzi photo of Jumin and Jaehee, hands clasped and leaning over a table, was shown on a plasma screen behind the talk show host. Jumin had a smirk on his face as he pushed Jaehee's arm closer to the table. Jaehee's face was screwed up in a mixture of defeat and pain.

 **Jaehee Kang:** The Fendi Filliams Show is a trashy show, but she definitely spills the tea, as the young people would say.

 **Yoosung*:** I don't know... Her tea is kinda lukewarm nowadays. I like LovelyKi better...

 **ZEN:** So… it's true.

He could hardly believe it. Either everyone was scheming on him, or everyone was telling him the truth. It sounded like the latter. The evidence was pretty solid. He couldn't argue with the photos. Plus, thinking about the conversations, they had sounded suggestive only because he'd heard the most suspicious portions of them. There was no explicit evidence that they'd been doing any of the actions Zen had imagined. He'd merely jumped to conclusions.

But then he remembered the very last, most scarring part of the story. There was no way to misconstrue that, he was sure of it.

But he didn't know if he should expose them like that. From Jaehee's subtle threat, it sounded like their relationship was under wraps. He hadn't even suspected that they were together.

 _Could it be another mistake though?_ he wondered. The last three exchanges were misunderstandings after all. But those sounds were so convincing. Zen wanted to know the truth, but he was afraid of what he'd discover.

 **ZEN:** Jaehee… I, um… About tonight...

But before he could try to subtly hint at what he knew without mentioning Saeran, the man of the hour logged into the messenger.


	6. Zen Has a Nervous Breakdown Part Two

Hello everyone! I'm (finally) back with another chapter. Pneumonia and adult life have been kicking my ass big time haha.

Side bar: I've been trying to get Jumin's second Bad Relationship End for the past month or so with no luck. It's so hard. Wut lol. I just want to be done. Jumin's route is not my favorite. Alas! I'm determined to get all of the endings so I guess I'll have to deal.

[End side bar]

[On to the chapter]

Disclaimer: I don't own Mystic Messenger. All characters and plot are property of Cheritz.

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 **[Saeran has entered the chatroom]**

 **Yoosung*:** Guys, it's Saeran!

 **Saeyoung:** Yo, my bro!

 _Speak of the devil_ , Zen wanted to type. Instead, he made himself type...

 **ZEN:** Saeran... You're finally here.

After everyone greeted the younger Choi brother, he addressed Zen.

 **Saeran:** Yes… I'm sorry, Zen. You were just trying to figure out the truth, and here I was, hiding from everyone.

 **Saeran:** I have to apologize to you too, Jaehee. I let you defend your honor all by yourself. You're always working so hard.

 **MC:** Um… I don't mean to interrupt, but…

 **Saeyoung:** *Crunch, crunch.* Good popcorn. Oh, what happened?

 **Jaehee Kang:** I don't think "crunch, crunch" works in the messenger.

 **Saeran:** Saeyoung, now's not the time for your lame dad jokes.

 **Saeyoung:** Lame dad jokes?! Why, you! I'm the elder brother, respect my authority!

Saeyoung used his starry-eyed emoji, which completely changed the tone of his earlier message. He was always making a joke.

 **MC:** Let's stay on topic, please. Zen's really upset right now.

 **Saeran:** Good point. Zen, you got a call from me last night, correct? Some time after we talked?

 **ZEN:** Uh…;;;

 **Saeran:** Shit. So you heard… everything, huh.

 **ZEN:** I, uh…got a voicemail from you last night. I, uh…Well, I...

 **Saeran:** Damn. Guess the cat's out of the bag. No use in hiding it. Jaehee… Should we…?

 **Jaehee Kang:** We have no choice. Although I'm embarrassed that Zen overheard such an improper... er, exchange. That was never meant to happen. I—I mean… Well, not in that way, but uh… Uh… That moment wasn't meant for your ears. We were too careless. I can't apologize enough. I'm so sorry, Zen.

The actor heaved a huge sigh, his anger dissipating. He couldn't stay mad at Jaehee. He could practically hear the remorse and shame in her message.

 **Yoosung*:** Wait… I'm lost.

 **Jumin Han:** Heh. Isn't it obvious?

 **Saeran:** God, how embarrassing. This is not how I wanted everyone to find out. Zen and I talked on the phone. But I must've butt dialed him after our call or something last night. So he heard an intimate exchange that he wasn't supposed to hear. Ack. I feel so hot. Why am I blushing so much?

 **Jaehee Kang:** You see, Saeran and I are…'

 **Saeran:** We're seeing each other.'

Everyone expressed their shock in various emoji forms.

 **Yoosung*:** What?!

 **Saeyoung:** Really?! Saeran, how could you keep this from your own brother?! I feel hurt. Wounded. Impaled. Betrayed.'

As the shocked expressions turned to cheers of encouragement and congratulations, Zen couldn't help but sit back and watch the chatroom in shock. All of the new information hit him all at once. On top of everything, now Jaehee and Saeran were a couple? The whole situation from beginning to end was just so outlandish.

 **Yoosung*:** When did you start dating?

 **Jaehee Kang:** Shortly after V's funeral. Saeran was a great help during that dark time.

 **Saeran:** Jaehee was a source of strength for me as well. I thought I'd just lost everything. I got my brother back, but I'd devoted most of my life to Mint Eye, and to Rika. They were my life, and I lost that part of me. Mint Eye was my family for so long.

 **Saeran:** Jaehee knew how it felt to lose everything. She lost V, who was such a driving force behind the RFA. She rightfully felt betrayed at first when she found out the truth, but when he died, it was such a huge loss.

 **Jaehee Kang:** We started relying on each other for support. I craved his texts and calls. My heart jumped whenever I saw that he was online. Next thing I knew, I was falling in love with him.

 **Saeran:** I really admired Jaehee. She worked so hard for both the RFA and for Jumin's company. I thought she was just a good friend at first, until we kissed. That's when I knew that I had to make her mine.

 **Jaehee Kang:** Saeran… I'm blushing…

 **Saeyoung:** 'Make her yours'?! Gahh! What a yandere! Haha just kidding. Congrats, bro.

He soon spammed the chatroom with his thumbs up emoji, much to everyone's annoyance.

 **Yoosung*:** Happily ever R.F-After. First, Saeyoung got married and now, the twin brother found his one true love! There's hope for me to get a girlfriend after all!

 **ZEN:** Wait a minute! Don't you feel like you're being too shameless, Saeran?

 **Saeran:** What was that?

 **ZEN:** You can't come on here and brag about being with Jaehee. It's totally douchey. And be more discreet while you're at it. Ladies should always be protected, and you just outed her with that God-awful voicemail.

 **Saeran:** Are you saying I can't protect my Jaehee?

Yoosung tried valiantly to intervene.

 **Yoosung*:** Uhhh... I'm sure Zen's just trying to look out for Jaehee since—

 **ZEN:** All I'm saying is that you should be more careful.

 **Jaehee Kang:** Saeran... Please don't make a huge fuss out of this. I'm sure Zen means well.

 **Saeran:** Babe, he's insulting me. He's saying I can't take care of you. I won't take that insult lying down, dammit.

 **Saeran:** Mind your own business and worry about yourself, you douche.

 **ZEN:** Douche? Douche?!

 **Saeyoung:** Oh, no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. Saeran, Zen, please don't fight. Let's keep the peace! I love peace! (And cats.) T_T

 **Yoosung*:** Saeyoung... This must be so troubling for you.

 **Saeyoung:** ...Please stop your fighting, and wait for me to get more popcorn. Then you can keep fighting. I'll be back.

 **[Saeyoung has left the chatroom]**

 **Yoosung*:** What the—?! Saeyoung! Damn... he sure logged out fast.

Zen couldn't believe how childish Saeran was being. He grew angrier by the minute.

 **ZEN:** Dude, I don't get why such a capable person like Jaehee fell in love with a hothead like you. But you're gonna lose her if you don't get your act together for her sake.

It was the wrong thing to say. Saeran was on the hunt like a werewolf during a full moon.

 **Saeran:** Wait a minute. You don't have... feelings for Jaehee, do you?!

 **ZEN:** What?! N—No, of course not! Jaehee is an important member of the RFA, and she's a woman. Of course I'm going to look out for any precious ladies. They're delicate flowers after all.

 **Saeran:** Oh, so Jaehee is **_precious_** to you.

 **ZEN:** Arghhhh! No! Not that way! She's just a friend! A friend!

 **Saeran:** Bet you'd like her to be more a friend, wouldn't you. Well, I won't give up so easily!

 **[Saeyoung has entered the chatroom]**

 **Saeyoung:** OMG! Such anger! Such passion! Such suspense! Gahhhh, I can't take these emotions!

 **MC:** Babe, you're back!

 **Saeyoung:** The thrilling chase! This tender and tragic love triangle! Will our Jaehee choose Zen the Knight in a fangirl and celeb love story? Or will she stay with dark and mysterious Saeran, and become an unlikely heroine in his love story? Gahhhh! MC, hold my hand! I literally can't even right now!

Everyone in the chatroom showed their disapproval for his theatrics in their respective emoji forms. Even Zen was sick of it. The fight left his body. Saeyoung had a way of highlighting how useless certain arguments were.

He knew when to quit when he was ahead. This fight was quickly going nowhere. Saeran had been through so much pain. He had to cut him some slack based on his tragic past alone. Plus, it was an honest mistake.

 **ZEN:** Dude. Calm down. I'm sorry, okay? I get it. You're so in love with her. I respect true love. What kind of Prince Charming would I be if I didn't?

 **Jumin Han:** Aren't you so high and mighty. Heh. Who calls themselves a prince in this day and age?

 **ZEN:** Dammit trust fund jerk! Mind your damn business!'

 **Jumin Han:** I was just making a point. A valid point. Hmm. I wonder if I'll ever get a heartfelt apology for the way you discriminate against me.

 **ZEN:** Fat chance. Saeran's fiesty but he's a good kid. You're. Just. A. Damn. Rich. Brat.

 **Jumin Han:** It's not my fault that I'm rich. I was born into a wealthy family. What a foolish reason to hate someone.

The musical actor turned his attention to Saeran as he sought to make amends.

 **ZEN:** So you'll forgive me, right? Right?!

 **ZEN:** Please don't hack into my hard drive and expose all of my embarrassing info... T_T

 **Saeran:** You don't have any feelings for Jaehee, right?

 **ZEN:** I just told you I don't! God... What more do you want from me?! Should I make a huge banner and hang it outside of my apartment?! I don't like Jaehee that way!

 **Saeran:** Okay, fine. I guess I just get overprotective... I feel bad for that mistake. I'm sorry. It won't happen again.

 **ZEN:** Good.

Zen winced. His headache was morphing into a migraine. A vein throbbed in his forehead as his left eyebrow twitched. A sigh escaped his lips. He dropped his phone into his lap to massage his temples. Side bar conversation aside, it was over. He finally figured it out. But he didn't feel any better. He just felt exhausted. His eyes were dehydrated and sore from too little sleep. He just wanted to log off and rest, but he made himself continue.

 **ZEN:** Let me get this straight. MC had an argument with Saeyoung.

 **Saeyoung:** Rap battle.

 **ZEN:** Uh… rap battle, which led to a fight between MC and Saeyoung. He went out to clear his head, and MC accidentally called Yoosung while trying to reach Jaehee.

 **MC:** Right so far.

 **ZEN:** When she realized she called Yoosung instead, they chatted for a while. Yoosung invited her to his place for a relaxing, pampering night. But MC butt dialed me and what I heard was just the two of you taking care of your skin.

 **Yoosung*:** Skin care is so important.

 **ZEN:** Then, later that night, when I accidentally called Yoosung, he put me on hold when Saeyoung showed up. Turns out that what I heard was the two of you going ice fishing, because Saeyoung's a jerk and he tricked you into looking for a LOLOL treasure that didn't even exist.

 **Saeyoung:** Hey, needed to blow off some steam, like I said. No regrets.

 **Yoosung*:** Saeyoungggg…

 **ZEN:** After that, I called Jaehee because I needed to vent. She also put me on hold. I overheard Jumin and Jaehee arm wrestling, because Jumin's a freak of nature and he was drunk and high out of his mind.'

 **Jumin Han:** Jealous?

Zen imagined that he said it in a smug tone. He clenched his teeth, but ignored him.

 **ZEN:** And last but not least, Saeran and I talked late last night about Saeyoung, Yoosung, and MC. Because I'm a great friend and I was worried about the marriage between two of my closest friends. But later on, I got a voicemail. It was from Saeran. I feared the worst, because once again, I'm a great friend. So I listened, and it was clearly a mistake. Because Saeran and Jaehee were… They were…

 **ZEN:** ...

Every time he even thought the words "having sex," it made him break into nervous tics, so he let everyone fill in the blank in their minds instead.

 **Saeran:** We were having sex, yes.

 **ZEN:** Gahhh! Arghhhh! Have some damn shame, will ya, Saeran?!

 **Jaehee Kang:** Saeran… Wasn't that a bit too blunt?;;;;;

 **Saeran:** But it's the truth.

 **Saeyoung:** Gahhhh. My little brother. Such a man now. I can't take it!

 **Saeran:** Don't be dramatic. You're only older than me by like three minutes. Sheesh.

 **Jumin Han:** Get a hold of yourself, Saeyoung. It was bound to happen sooner or later.

 **ZEN:** Let's get back on track. To summarize, MC and Yoosung were innocently having a spa night, Yoosung and Saeyoung were ice fishing, and Jaehee and Jumin were arm wrestling when I overheard those suspicious calls, correct?

 **Saeyoung:** It's true.

 **Yoosung*:** It's true seconded.

 **Jaehee Kang:** I can vouch for both myself and Mr. Han.

 **MC:** I agree with everyone. Nothing fishy was going on.

 **ZEN:** Soooooo… If I'm following this correctly, and everything you're all saying is true… Then, it's like… this was just one long, crazy misunderstanding?

 **Jaehee Kang:** It appears so.

 **Saeyoung:** Bingo! You nailed it right on the head.

 **Jumin Han:** Idiot. You just answered your own question.

Zen grit his teeth in annoyance. He was always so arrogant.

 **ZEN:** So, if MC hadn't dialed the wrong number… none of this would've happened, huh.

 **MC:** Uh…maybe?;;;

 **Yoosung*:** Wait… Is this some kind of butterfly effect thing? Where one small action has irreparable consequences?

 **Saeyoung:** Wow, what a vocabulary.

 **Yoosung*:** I'm smart, I'm smart!

The full impact of the truth came at Zen in rolling waves of laughter.

 **ZEN:** Hahahaha. Hahahahahahaha!

 **Yoosung*:** Uh… Zen… You okay?

 **ZEN:** Misunderstanding… All a huge mistake… Oh, my… Hahahahaha. This is hilarious. Hahahaha.

 **Saeyoung:** *whisper voice* Guys… I think Zen's losing it.'

 **Jaehee Kang:** Saeyoung... I don't think typing *whisper voice* makes it any less obvious that you're insulting Zen.

 **ZEN:** You know what, I'm done. I rebuke all of you in the name of Jesus.

 **Yoosung*:** You're not even religious, Zen…

 **ZEN:** Hahahaha. Hahahaha. I worried all night about my friends' marriage. About the RFA and everyone's well-being. And it ends up being one big misunderstanding. Just my luck. Hahahaha.

 **Jumin Han:** Zen… You're blowing this way out of proportion…,' Jumin said.

 **ZEN:** Oh, **_I'M_** blowing it way out of proportion?!

 **Jumin Han:** Well, technically, you brought this on yourself.

 **ZEN:** I don't want to hear one more word from your damn trust fund jerk mouth! You always think I'm such an idiot! Damn you!

 **Jumin Han:** Well, no one asked you to listen in on those conversations. If you really believed that everyone was doing unspeakable things, shouldn't it have been your responsibility to hang up? Are you some kind of sexual predator? Or some kind of voyeur?'

 **Saeyoung:** Pervert Zen! Pervert Zen!

 **Jaehee Kang:** Saeyoung… Don't tease him. He's been through enough.

Zen's face flushed bright red, but he merely typed in some angry face emojis to express his maximum rage. No way would he ever admit that Jumin had a point, ever. It would swell his head up too much.

 **ZEN:** You know what, guys? I'm going to bed. I'm very tired and I haven't slept. I'm glad that everything worked out for you, MC. I was so worried. And congrats, Saeran and Jaehee. You two sound like you're very much in love.

 **ZEN:** Everyone else can eat a dick. Bye.

 **Yoosung*:** Zen!

 **Saeyoung:** Nooooo, come back! We're just teasing, right Jumin?!

But despite everyone's best attempts to keep him around, he logged off. He was tired of being everyone's emotional abuse piñata. If he withstood any more verbal insults, candy would fly out of his ass, he was sure of it.

Zen stared at his phone for what felt like decades. A small snicker fell from his lips, which turned into deep chuckles, which then morphed into a hysterical mixture of laughing and crying.

He gasped for breath, but the laughter just kept coming. It hurt his chest to laugh so much. Zen laughed so hard and for so long, he wasn't even sure if he was amused or just so angry and shocked that this was his only response.

"What a night. What a damn night," he said to himself. Fatigue wrapped itself around him tight. He was physically and emotionally drained. He placed his phone on his bedside table, closed the blinds, and flopped into bed. He instantly fell asleep.


	7. God Seven Reveals All

And now, the thrilling (?!) conclusion of Wrong Number!

[Side bars]

1\. I *finally* made it to Jumin's Relationship Bad End 2! Yes! So excited.

2\. I named Wrong Number after a DBSK song of the same name haha. Not very original, I know.

I hope everyone enjoyed this messy fic. Thank you to all who left such awesome reviews, all those who followed and favorited and read. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

[End side bars]

[On to the story]

Disclaimer: I don't own Mystic Messenger. All characters and plot are property of Cheritz.

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Saeyoung stared down at his phone with uncontrolled glee.

Once Zen logged off in a huff, everyone left confused messages. They mentioned how emotional Zen was being and how they hoped he was okay. He could barely suppress a grin when he thought about it. Everyone was giving Zen a run for his money. Their acting skills were top-notch. They kept up the pretense up until the very end.

He had to congratulate them. He felt like a proud director, with a brilliant cast of actors. What a performance, especially that curveball Saeran and Jaehee served up at the end! They were so convincing. Saeyoung hadn't even seen it coming. No one had. _Always have a plot twist,_ he thought to himself with an amused twinkle in his eye.

Saeyoung opened up the messenger and sent a mass text message to everyone but Zen. 'Hey, everybody, let's talk. Not on the messenger. Will ruin everything. Get on Kyte.'

Everyone got back to him instantly. Jumin pretended to be all sulky. He could practically hear his robotic voice when he texted, 'I'm busy. Do you think I have time to play around all day?' But within twenty minutes, everyone was logged on. Jumin was at home, cuddling with Elizabeth the Third. Yoosung was in an internet cafe playing LOLOL since his computer was busted. Jaehee was sitting at her desk in her bedroom. Saeyoung wasn't sure where Saeran was, but the place looked pretty fancy. It was all soft lighting and classical music; he was Kyte-calling from his smartphone. Last but not least, MC was sitting at the dining room table with Saeyoung.

Saeyoung and MC sat close together in front of their laptop with matching impish grins. "Helloooooo, party people! So glad you could make it!" Saeyoung cheered with a happy wave.

Jumin frowned. "What is the meaning of this? Make it quick. I'm busy."

"Not too busy to help me with my grand plan!" he replied, which shut Jumin up for once. Saeyoung couldn't help but grin when he saw Jumin's dark expression.

"Just wanted to call and let everyone know how proud I am. You guys played your parts perfectly. Congratulations. You've out-acted even our best actor, Zen. You should feel proud. But I should feel prouder, for coming up with the most elaborate, detailed, and completely useless prank of all time!" the red-haired former hacker exclaimed.

"But Saeyoung!" Yoosung whimpered. His large violet eyes looked almost teary. "Don't you think you took it too far? He really was worried about you. About all of us."

"What? You want to know why I put this prank together? How kind of you, Yoosung!"

Yoosung leaned forward. Saeyoung could hear video game sound effects in the background of the internet cafe. "What? I didn't ask that at all—"

"Why I'll tell you! I, God Seven, King of Trolls, Lord of the Pranks, was becoming tired of having a normal, dull life! True, I have my lovely wife," he turned to MC to kiss her forehead, "and a thriving toy store. But lying low isn't my style. My lovely wife tried to stop me when I came up with this scheme. She said, 'No, don't! You'll scar him for life!' But you see, God Seven needed to go out with a bang! One last prank to end all pranks! One last moment of trolling glory to end all trolls. Could I have trolled Yoosung instead? Absolutely. But I wanted a challenge! I wanted to take down our resident narcissist. I wanted Zen!

"Plus, I'm an amateur psychiatrist. I wanted to see how sick and perverted Zen was. He always claims to be so holier-than-thou. 'All men are wolves!' he'd say. 'I'm the perfect man!' 'Look at me, I'm Zen the Knight!' Hmph. He has no impure thoughts, or so he claims! Well, as we saw last night, that simply isn't true. Zen is just as much of a wolf, if not more so, than any other man." Saeyoung finished his rant with a self-satisfied grin.

Everyone shot him a reproachful glare, but they couldn't stare at Saeyoung accusingly forever. Not when everyone had blood on their hands in one way or another, so to speak.

"But Saeyoungggg," Yoosung whined. "How could you—?"

"'But how could you possibly predict Zen's actions,' you ask? Well, I'll tell you!"

"That wasn't what I was gonna—!"

"It's simple, really. I had MC call Zen, you see. Get the ball rolling, so to speak. Zen wouldn't dare ignore a call from MC. How could I possibly predict that he'd listen in while MC and you delivered your lines? Heh. Zen is a nosy perv, that's how. Hehe. Fell right into my trap. From there, I predicted that he'd immediately call either me or you. He'd never confront my wife. It would be easier for him to blame you for being a typical wolf-male, or he'd talk to me to see if I knew my wife was 'cheating' on me." Saeyoung made sure to use air quotes around "cheating," much to everyone's annoyance. He spotted a few RFA members rolling their eyes, but he ignored it for the most part.

"And I was right! He called Yoosung to confront him about being a homewrecker. Much to my delight! It was easy to fool Zen into thinking that secretly, Yoosung and I were having a scandalous love affair as well! Haha! It was like something straight out of a soap opera."

"But did we actually have to go ice fishing? Geez," Yoosung complained.

"Silence, peasant!" Saeyoung exclaimed good-naturedly. "In acting, as in all art, authenticity is key! Anyways, you didn't let me finish my explanation."

Jaehee finally spoke up. "I can't help but feel that we took it too far."

Saeyoung continued, "Well, from that scarring phone call, I just knew that Zen would want a shoulder to cry on. What better shoulder than yours, Jaehee? Zen trusts you the most in the RFA, and he really admires how level-headed and calm you are. I just knew he'd seek your advice."

"When Mr. Han brought up this crazy scheme that I let myself get mixed up in," Jaehee started, "It just sounded crazy. I have no use or need to trick Zen like that. It would definitely affect his acting, not to mention his looks. Late nights are like a cancer to actors. Their skincare and looks are so essential."

"But the promise of generous vacation time, plus plenty of overtime pay, was enough to get you on board," Jumin added with a smirk. Jaehee frowned slightly, but a guilty look flashed over her face. He was right.

"You practically blackmailed me," she countered. "I'm nothing more than a hapless victim. Poor Zen," she lamented as she dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief.

Yoosung raised an eyebrow. "Wow, I wonder what kind of dirt Jumin has on you, Jaehee, to make you deceive your favorite actor like that." He started to laugh, but a pointed glare from the assistant was enough to scare him into silence.

"Even the props and pictures were practically solid proof," Saeyoung cheered with a raised fist. "No detail was spared for my final prank. The face masks, the treasure chest, even the talk show screenshot of Jaehee and Jumin… What a nice touch! Jaehee, you have some fabulous Photoshop skills with that YouTube screenshot picture."

Jaehee blushed deeply. She looked guilty for some reason. "I can't take all of the credit…," she mumbled as Saeran coughed.

"I just can't believe that Zen believed that I wanted to be an esthetician! Geez! No one in the RFA knows my heart at all. That's not even remotely my interest," Yoosung huffed.

"Yeah, good point. I'm surprised you were even able to spell esthetician!" Saeyoung smirked.

"Hey, now…"

"Heh. But Yoosung, everyone's motives for tricking Zen were pretty clear. My wife and I are just lovable trolls, Jaehee was seduced with vacation time, double overtime pay, and blackmail; Jumin and Zen aren't exactly on the best terms, so he just wanted to mess with him… But Yoosung, why did you agree to this? You were such a vital part of this prank. But you seem to get along just fine with Zen."

Yoosung fidgeted in his seat. "I don't have a problem with Zen," he admitted. "But lately he's been extra douchey! Posting shirtless selfies of himself and everything. He's been really hard on me too! He keeps saying I'm just the cutesy type and I'll never get a girlfriend unless I become handsome like him. Which Zen says will never happen, because…" Yoosung changed the pitch of his voice to imitate Zen's in a strangely deep tone that didn't sound even remotely like him, "'Ughhh, look at me, I'm Zen the Knight, and God made a mistake when He made me, and why am I so perfect?' and blah, blah, blah. Arghhhhh!" His face flamed bright red. "Just remembering it makes me mad. I just wanted to shut him up!"

Saeyoung cackled loudly as he slapped his knee. "That's the spirit, Yoosung my boy!"

Jumin leaned back with a sigh. Elizabeth the Third purred as he stroked her fur. "I'm just glad it's all over and that I gave Zen a dose of humility. He should know when to shut his mouth," he said simply.

"Don't know if that makes sense… But I'll take it!"

Jaehee reddened again. She looked like she was lost in thought. "God... How embarrassing."

He grinned. "What I couldn't have predicted was that amazing plot twist you and Jaehee threw in, Saeran. I can't believe you two not only went out of your way to leave a sexy voicemail for Zen, but you actually claimed to be a couple! You even came up with a backstory. Wow! You might be my troll successor, Saeran! From the sound of it, Zen really thought you two were sleeping together! That wasn't in the plan at all! You both are some cheeky pieces of work, but I loved it. Bravo acting! A-plus plus plus plus plus!"

Saeran cleared his throat, blushing. _Hmm. Maybe Saeran and Jaehee are both sick._ They sure were coughing a lot.

"Yeah, it was kinda spur of the moment, but I think it added a nice touch of horror," the white-haired former hacker said.

Saeyoung cackled loudly in response. "Yeah, you guys almost had us all fooled. It's like a prank within a prank. A prank-ception, if you will." He doubled over in obnoxious laughter. "If I'd thought about it more, I would've realized that you were tricking us all. I mean, you and Jaehee, together? Such a joke! You guys aren't even canon."

"Canon?" Yoosung questioned with a furrowed brow. "Like a canon shooting a bomb to the sky?"

"Gay Jumin and Zen are more canon than Saeran and Jaehee," Saeyoung laughed. A lightbulb went off in his brain as his eyes turned into stars. "Ooh! That makes me want to write a Jumin/Zen fanfic!"

"Can I be the co-author?" MC piped up, unable to contain her excitement.

"Why, of course you can, babe!" he replied as the married couple flashed each other identical thumbs-up signs.

"Don't," Jumin deadpanned. "I'll sue the both of you for slander."

MC and Saeyoung grabbed their heads in anguish. "Nooooo," they wailed in unison. The rest of the RFA members rolled their eyes in response.

"Since we have nothing more to discuss, I think I should leave," Jumin said simply. "I'd like to spend more quality time with Elizabeth the Third."

"Hehe. And so ends the prank to end all pranks, in the history of elaborate, time-wasting, and completely useless tricks," Saeyoung boasted. He clapped loudly. "Great work, everybody. I'm taking everyone out for fried chicken and beer to thank you for your hard work. Well, me and my baby gotta get going. We're gonna take robot cat and robot dog for a walk around the neighborhood. Bye now!"

Everyone said their farewells and logged off. Saeyoung kept waving, even when everyone's videos went black. His face cracked into a grin as he snapped his laptop closed.

"So ends another brilliant prank executed by God Seven. I must take a bow for my excellence, and hand the baton to Demigod Saeran, Prince of Pranks. He has the potential to be a great troll."

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"Well… Guess that's it," Saeran said to himself as he logged off. He grinned happily. Everything turned out alright in the end. Saeyoung and everyone else completely bought their story. They would be able to hide their relationship for just a little while longer. Sure, Zen knew, but what did it matter? They'd bought themselves a little more time.

He walked over to the flower display. Each bouquet was more vibrant than the next. There were all kinds: fragrant jasmines, sunny daffodils, unfurling roses, and vibrant tulips, among many others.

Feeling giddy, he scrolled through his contacts and called Jaehee. She picked up after the third ring.

"Saeran," she answered a little breathlessly. It made his heart jump.

"So how did you like my performance?" he smirked as he touched the petals of a nearby gardenia bouquet.

"You told Saeyoung that it was a huge prank, didn't you."

"Yup. Called him while you were out this morning. Uh... Hope you don't mind. I just always want to protect you."

"They thought our relationship was a joke," she said almost sadly.

Her somber tone made him want to jump through the phone and hold her. "Ahh, don't pay them any attention. Plus, you know how obnoxious Saeyoung is. He's always goofing around. Surely you know by now to take his words with a huge grain of salt," he said gently. "Maybe I did the wrong thing after all. I thought I was helping us out but..."

Jaehee sighed. "Hmmm. Not much we can do about it now." Her tone turned low and sultry with a touch of playfulness. "Besides... hiding our relationship is kind of... hot."

Saeran paused, taken aback. She was being so bold. It made shivers roll through his body. "Geez. You're making me miss you," he responded huskily.

"Then hurry back. I'll be waiting for you."

Saeran couldn't help but laugh as they said their goodbyes and hung up. But he did as his lady asked, and soon left the flower shop. He would make it all up to Jaehee, starting with a fragrant gardenia bouquet and a candlelit dinner later tonight. Everything was going perfectly.

 _You know, Saeyoung thinks he's such a clever troll. But Jaehee and I may be the ones to take his crown yet,_ Saeran thought with a smirk. _Hmmmm, God Saeran, King of Trolls, with Goddess Jaehee, Queen of Fools… It has a nice ring to it._


End file.
